Body Snatchers

You may have read recently about the person whose kidneys were stolen
from him while he was passed out. Well, read on. Something like this
happened to me and countless other women.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.. It was
just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone
else's thighs.. The new ones were the texture of lumpy porridge. Who
would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for
years?

Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the
entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry I
resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and those tights that pull
everything in. Then, just when my guard was down the thieves struck again.

My arse was next! I knew it was the same gang, because they took great
pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had lumbered me with
earlier. I couldn't believe it, my new arse was attached at least
three inches lower than my original. Now, my backside complemented my thighs lump for lump. Frantically I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

Last year I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was
brushing my hair when I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh
of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This
was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at a
time. How clever and fiendish. I was being attacked repeatedly and
without warning. In despair I have given up short sleeved t-shirts.

Last month my neck disappeared faster than the Christmas turkey,
which it now resembled.

I can't take on the medical profession by myself. WOMEN OF THE WORLD
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn't plastic those surgeons
are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts,
don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face 'lifted' look again.
Was it 'lifted' from you? I think I finally found my thighs and I hope
Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!!

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY
NIGHT.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. How paranoid am I? Last night I thought someone had stolen my
breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed
I was relieved to find that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I
slept. Now I am keeping them safely tucked into my waistband!

I know the feeling well.

I've laughed so much, do you think they also swap bladders.

Doris

That is brilliant I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time

brilliant ceinwen!!
you can add me to this list too! it's disgraceful i thought i saw "pods" in the garden,they've taken both me & the hubby over!!
maureenxxx

I cannot stop laughing, Even the dogs are looking at me daft, Brilliant Ceinwen

I too think the same as you Doris,

Maureen you made me laugh too

Hugs Linda

I send it to my friend, she's always talking about her body like this !!!!!!

very funny to read, my husband kept looking at me gone out as i was laughing away to my self out loud, going to read some more on the funny page tomorrow, thank you for making me laugh so much! vicky